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| time flies doesnt it?
it seems like ytd when i was still in maryknoll freaking out about maths exam and chinese history. and now i'm different.
i have to admit it. i'm different.
now i stress about my essays and IB. also friends and relationships.
i feel older. technically i am older. it's been 3 years. and i look back and i would say that i was naive and innocent.
i still think that a part of me is still innocent. but coming to rchk opened my eyes to many things in the world. and i must say, yes i was naive and i still am now.
i hesitate so much. because i'm not used to all this freedom. not even now. it's been a month now. i still cant decide about my subject choices. while my mcs friends start working on HKCEE. sometimes i would sit and think whether i would regret my choices i have made now. but i guess......it's hard to have no regrets.
we all want everything to be perfect. but we know that nothing is perfect.
i'm feeling more optimistic now. which is rare.
changes in life still scares me. especially when i want this very moment to stop forever.
it makes me so sad that it will not happen. going overseas to study is my dream. i'm not ready to let go of it.
i'm still lost in life. i make mistakes. i suffer from the consequences. i live. i laugh. i cry. i love God.
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| the guy tells the girl that he's not good enough, and leaves her, thinking it's the best for her.
and all he did was to leave her in pain. his lack of confidence hurt her so deeply.
but what was left to do. he did not want to be good enough. or maybe he just said he wants to, but his actions didn't match up.
***
the guy does not understand why she thinks it's so important. so important that she has to ignore him. when she couldn't take it anymore. she called her friend, telling her she's going to leave her boyfriend. and so she does. when the guy realizes his mistake, all is too late. she still feels the pain, but she had no choice.
***
in front of a guy, it's hard for a girl to express her feelings. girls like to say the opposite of what they want or how they feel. not all the time, but at some points in life. guys do not understand why. when it comes to the point when the girl has to express her feelings, of course it would be genuine. if girls lie, there is always a reason. why would she tell him what she wants, it's not like he would understand. it's human nature that we contradict ourselves. so it confuses others.
and for someone like me, it's hard to express my feelings.
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| i will remember you,
and all of the things that we've gone through
there is so much to say but words get in the way.
so we're not together,
i will remember you.
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| “你連電視劇裡的孩子都不如。”
對，我就是連電視劇裡的孩子都不如。怎麼了？有問題嗎？可以的話，就不要我當你的孩子
我出生在這世界上，我有選擇嗎？
i know life is a gift.
but you make my life seem to be a roadblock in everybody's way.
so i wonder, whether i should even exist or not.
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| I'm feeling bored, even tho there's a maths test tmr. and two case studies to finish.
but i have to let myself rest a bit.
愛一個人一生一世，渴望穩定的水瓶座畏懼情感的大風大浪，往往在愛情中處於較被動的位置，多數時候，水瓶們難以很好表達出自己內心的真實想法，甚至會正話反說。只有遇到一個心有靈犀的人，愛才不會讓彼此感覺那麼疲累。
so true. i'll never learn. and i'm not bothered to.
but the truth is, it is hard to find someone who would understand me.
someone like me, who would understand?
and when it comes to this, we must know that there will never be someone who will know you inside out.
Because they are not you. They can't read minds.
But we should know that there is always someone who would be there to listen, whether they understand or not. They are still there to listen.
Sometimes it is selfish to demand someone to understand, or blame someone for not understanding.
When you see through the complexity, you will see that in the end you are the one to blame.
You are the one who made everything so hard to understand.
You are the one who doesn't say anything, and expect your friends to understand.
You are the one who never bothers to understand others, but insists that they understand you.
Humans are selfish. Whether we like it or not. Whether we admit it or not.
We are just selfish.
We expect things from others, but we never do the same for them.
Sometimes when i stare into the mirror, all I see is a complete stranger.
Do I know her?
ruguonanguo qingniwanglewo
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